1. The moral of the story is, is we’re here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And, what the computer people don’t realize, or they don’t care, is we’re dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And, we’re not supposed to dance at all anymore.
2. I was taught that the human brain was the crowning glory of evolution so far, but I think it’s a very poor scheme for survival.
3. True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.
4. Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.
5. Make love when you can. It’s good for you.
6. Unexpected travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God
7. Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before.
8. Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion . . . . I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.
9. If people think nature is their friend, then they sure don’t need an enemy.
10. We would be a lot safer if the Government would take its money out of science and put it into astrology and the reading of palms. Only in superstition is there hope. If you want to become a friend of civilization, then become an enemy of the truth and a fanatic for harmless balderdash.
11. We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.
12. Most writers are not quick-witted when they talk. Novelists, in particular, drag themselves around in society like gut-shot bears.
13. The two real political parties in America are the Winners and the Losers. The people don’t acknowledge this. They claim membership in two imaginary parties, the Republicans and the Democrats, instead.
14. I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can’t see from the center.
15. There is no reason why good cannot triumph as often as evil. The triumph of anything is a matter of organization. If there are such things as angels, I hope that they are organized along the lines of the Mafia.
16. The worst thing that could possibly happen to anybody would be to not be used for anything by anybody. Thank you for using me, even though I didn’t want to be used by anybody.
17. There are plenty of good reasons for fighting,” I said, “but no good reason ever to hate without reservation, to imagine that God Almighty Himself hates with you, too. Where’s evil? It’s that large part of every man that wants to hate without limit, that wants to hate with God on its side.
18. We Bokonists believe that humanity is organized into teams, teams that do God’s Will without ever discovering what they are doing.
19. Why are so many Americans treated by their government as though their lives were as disposable as paper facial tissue? Because that was the way authors customarily treated bit-part players in their made-up tales.
20. Dear future generations: Please accept our apologies. We were rolling drunk on petroleum.
Kurt Vonnegut, thank you.
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