America always has it’s ways of turning things around and getting down to business. But these secrets that we hold from the general public can’t stay secrets forever. I bring to you, the Top 10 Things that keep America doing it’s business!
10. Pizza Bites
Pizza bites have always been there for us. Whether fresh from the oven, or the receiving end of a flush. It’s always been there to help us out.
9. Oreo’s
These little guys have been passed down from generation to generation. And every time, there’s someone to teach us how to eat them. Though, some aren’t so lucky.
8. Porn
Ok, this may not fuel all of America, but it sure does help us do some business. Surveys have shown that porn has actually improved productivity in households of both couples, and families. It would seem that people work harder, for the things that they wish they could have, porn just so happen to be one of them.
7. Donuts
Man created donuts for one sole purpose, and that was to make us as Americans have the opportunity to eat and feel happy. When people are happy they aren’t afraid of doing business. More business, more donuts, more donuts more fun. It’s really quite simple.
6. Steve Colbert
Oh Colbert, your silly dog. You’ve been giving us the latest news since I don’t know how long, and for that we thank you. People need their daily dose of guidance, or else they get lazy and start poking around in the Bushes.
5. Harry Potter
Truth be told, I don’t know why people love Harry Potter, maybe because there’s sticks and fly balls. Anyways, there’s one thing for sure, without Harry Potter, people would never be getting any of their business done. The tiniest chance of even Rupert Grint being able to get Emma Watson, that gave enough to make the guys of America finish their business.
4. French Fries
We all love french fries, we eat them, we munch them, we even sleep with them (theoretically). Even though the population of fries have been reducing over the abundant amount of grazing, we’ve still come into combat of who gets the last munch.
3. Mamma’s
Um-uh, moving on.
2. Coffee
Even the thought of what condiments to put in your favorite brew, is enough to start your day. Just, to dang fun.
1. Red Bull
Scientist have found that Chuck Norris’s urine contains nutrients and minerals that helps peak the human body. After further testing, they finally went on to prove that his urine not only improved the human body, but also could be used as fuel for any vehicle (no emissions/polussion, and 90% more effective then oil). Now, all over the world this beverage is sold, they now classify this drink as Red Bull.
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