Have you ever found yourself at home minding your own business, then all of a sudden some brainless zombie pops out screaming some gibberish about your brains? Well, if your not as flattered by that as I am, then I have some great ways to scrape that meat scud off your lawn, and toss that waffle-neck in a ditch!
Now I bet your saying “But, wait! I don’t have any of those cool hi-gadget-doohickeys that they have in those movies.” Well don’t you fear, because what I have here, is a plan to tear any zombie outta there (cool a rhyme). That’s right, even you can kill those nasty zombies, with things you can find at home. Now lets get started!
10. Baseball bat.
Ah, the bluntest of all blunt weapons. A good’ol bat will make short work of any zombie. And the great part about the bat is the fact that not only is it effective, its satisfying. The sheer adrenaline pumping through your veins as you wail down on some unlucky zombie is something you can only experience with a trusty bat.
9. Plastic spoon.
Yes, every zombie’s worst enemy. The plastic spoon reigns over all zombies when it comes down to it’s quantity/effectiveness ratio. It’s proven that when you pluck out the zombie’s eyes, they have no choice but to flop down on the ground and search for it’s balls *cough* eyes. At this point you can either keep stabbing the foul thing or make your escape.
8. Inanimate objects.
There’s not always something to swing with, so now there’s the next best thing. Something to throw! Inanimate objects can be found anywhere, whether its a ball, rubber ducky, or brick. With so many in your arsenal at any point in time, there’s always a element of surprise of what will happen when it hits. A ball could knock Mr. Zombie out, but Mr. Ducky could make him run in fear. Everything has a purpose! Now go out there and throw something!
7. Pets. 
OK, now I know this seems a bit cruel. But hey, what are pets for? If they can’t protect you then whats the use of having one? No one likes a freeloader, right? Then lets teach your dog/cat/dwarf/dragon/cow some new tricks, and bite down some law on those zombie critters. There’s only one thing you need to tell them before letting them go. Go low.
6. Traps.
Zombies aren’t exactly the least brain dead around, so why not use it against them? All you need will be a string of any kind (more thick more funner), bait (anything red), and a nice chunk of nerve. The moment you make one of these guys, its a guarantee that some unwitting zombie will soon be 6ft over.
5. Vehicle. 
Now when it comes right down to it, there’s nothing funner then killing road kill. The best part is that, no matter what you use, everything that has wheels can make every zombie into some fine sloppy bacon. (accessories not included.)
4. Weapons.
Ever had one of those moments where things just aren’t going your way? Well pull out this little beauty and all your troubles will go away. Whether its a trusty 1911, or shotty, they all make short work of any zombie. All with nice bang to. There’s nothing as pretty as watching zombies spewing their chunky zombie juices everywhere.
3. Mac. 
Everyone knows Zombies love their Mac&cheese. Toss them a Mac, and they won’t be able to resist the useless chunk of tasty Mac goodness! This gives you just enough time while their distracted to make an escape. (This stunt was done by trained zombie professionals. Do not attempt this at home. Results may very.)
2. The Office.
Now there’s nothing more treacherous to a zombie then this. Just the sound of Steve Carell’s voice can make zombies go berserk. Within 5mins of pure commercial free Office footage every zombie will be killing themselves to escape the merciless crumminess.
1. Zombies. 
When it comes right down to it, there’s only one way to kill a zombie. And that’s using a zombie against the zombie! When you kill one, don’t just let it stay there and wither away. Cut off a arm or leg! Not only do they work as a great blunt weapons, they will also think your one of their own. The ultimate zombie disguise. Smacking a few zombies down with a nice meaty leg works wonders for any situation. You also can’t run out of ammo!
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